What a difference a year makes!

A year ago today I was in a 12 hour surgery. It was probably one of the longest days in our family life. Not for me really, since I don't remember much other than the beginning and end of it. But for Mark, my parents, family and friends, it was a long day. A year and a day ago, now that was a long and hard day for me!

I don't think I will ever forget the details from the Spring of 2010, being diagnosed with an acoustic neuroma, evaluating and deciding on a treatment plan, and moving ahead with surgery and recovery. It is certainly not an experience I wish on anyone else, or one that I want to go through again, but it is now a part of my history. I am thankful for the skill of the doctors and medical team that treated me. I am thankful for the unending support that not only I received, but that my family received. I am thankful for Mom and Red who took care of all of us. I am thankful for Mark, that he took care of me in so many ways. I am thankful for my daughters and that I can hug them, play with them, love them, and be loved by them. I am so thankful to be alive and well!

There are still two things that pose challenges. My facial nerve has still not fully recovered, which means that I don't have full movement on the right side of my face. Not quite the same smile, my right eye doesn't blink normally, I can't wrinkle that side of my forehead one bit (cheaper than botox, right?). The eye in particular is annoying, but manageable. People tell me almost daily how it has improved, but I am a results oriented kind of gal, and I want it all and I want it now! A lesson in patience. Having lost the hearing on my right side is not as dramatic as I expected, in that I still hear things, they sound the same. But what I hear is different - for example what would have been background noise (like running water or a strong wind) in the past can often obscure the clarity of what I want to hear (like a conversation). I have learned, and so has Mark and friends, to favor my "good side." I sit at "strategic" locations. And I have a pretty good excuse not to hear conversations people are trying to have with me from the other side of the house.

I go back to see Dr. Gantz in September for an MRI, what will be my new "baseline." The next check would be in another 4 years. I continue to see an ophthalmologist on a fairly regular basis. I may also talk to a different doctor (at the recommendation of Dr. Gantz) who specializes in facial nerve related "injuries" and therapy. Unfortunately, she is in Madison, WI!

I couldn't let today go by without a little note, more to myself than anyone else, that despite the challenges of the last year, life is still pretty good. Thank you to everyone who has supported me and my family, followed along the journey, and are my friends. You all truly make me happy every day!

My funny little smile

There is not much new to report here. I have been back at work for 5 weeks, and life has been pretty full speed ahead - which is a good thing!

I am getting used to not hearing in my right ear. It is easier in some situations than I expected, and more difficult in others. I am learning to be more assertive about where I sit so I am able to hear people better. Large groups can be overwhelming.

My facial paralysis still persists. The photo above is about all I get for a smile. I try not to be discouraged, and remind myself that it has only been 11 weeks and to be patient!

I am happy to be able to enjoy my family, friends and "normal" day-to-day activities!

Couldn't have done it without them

My Mom and Red left their home on June 12th, and with the exception of a weekend to visit family in Wisconsin have been here since. We honestly could not have gotten through this time without them. While I was in the hospital, they took care of Delaney and Kinsey. Although Mark and I constantly thought about our girls, we never worried about them. We knew without question that they were lovingly being cared for, and probably being spoiled along the way.

Once I was home, the care continued to helping take care of me. Gentle prodding to stay active, making sure I was OK and taking me to the eye doctor.

Mom and Red basically ran our household. Mom doing almost all the laundry, cooking, shopping, ferrying of the girls to and from school and activities. For those of you who know Red, he is not known for his ability to sit idle. He has found countless projects at our house that needed doing. From golf cart repair to yard work, home maintenance projects and leaky faucets, I am amazed at what he has done. To see both of them with Delaney and Kinsey has been a treat, and I think they have gotten to know both of them in a unique and special way.

I don't even know how to express my gratitude. Giving me time to heal and get stronger was what I needed, and they made sure I had it. They are leaving today. I know they would not have spent this time any where else - I feel lucky every day that they have been willing and able to spend the time here. Fortunate beyond measure that we could all be here together and with such compatibility. I will miss them, and I know Delaney and Kinsey will miss them too. I hope that The Farm has been well cared for and they don't have too much work when they get home.

Thanks for being here. Thanks for loving me and my family. Thank you for everything you have done!

What a difference 4 weeks makes

Four weeks ago, I was in the midst of 12 hour surgery. Not something I want to do again EVER! I am happy to report that I think I have turned a corner and am feeling better and stronger every day. I was taking Tylenol with Codeine fairly regularly, but haven't had anything stronger than ibuprofen since last Wednesday! No headaches to speak of, and the awful pressure bandage on my head is gone for good (and has been for a week or so).

Mark and I were back in Iowa City yesterday for a check-up. Unfortunately, the visit started with an audiogram. I didn't quite understand why this was being done, since there was no question I had lost the hearing in my right ear. They put me in a sound proof room, and piped in various sounds for 30 minutes through things stuck in my ears, and guess what? I couldn't hear anything in my right ear! I knew that was the case, but having someone confirm it, and explain the test results was like being kicked in the shins repeatedly. It just sucked. After some more waiting, when we saw one of my doctors, the first thing she did was apologize for the audiogram. She said it never should have been scheduled in the first place, and was sorry that I had to do it.

My doctors looked at my incision, looked inside my ear, asked about how I was feeling, and have given me the go ahead to get back to living life without restrictions - including back to work on Monday! We talked about my facial nerve, and how it is still "asleep." When they removed the tumor, the facial nerve was stretched very, very, very thin over the tumor. Now that the tumor is gone, it needs time to readjust and just start firing again - I am sure there are much more technical explanations for this, I just don't know them! Dr. Gantz expressed his opinion that it will happen it just needs time (weeks, months, up to a year??). When I told him I hoped he was right his response was "I'm not wrong very often." I'm banking on that. In the meantime, my smile is very one-side, and my eye still won't blink, so taking care of my eye is a priority. We go back to see the docs in three months for a follow-up.

The highlight of my day yesterday was picking up Kinsey. Since coming home from the hospital, I have not been able to do that. I have certainly had lots of time where she has been handed to me, and good cuddles, but being able to stand-up and hold her was a great feeling! It also goes a long way to making me feel I can take care of my family.

I have started driving. I don't think I am ready for any road trips, but I feel comfortable getting around town.

Hearing on one side is taking a bit of getting used to. If I am walking with someone, or sitting down next to someone, I have to remember to have them on my left side if I want any chance of having a conversation. We went out to dinner last night (a first for me in four weeks!), and I did pretty well in the restaurant. I probably asked quite a few times for things to be repeated, but overall pretty good I think. What I miss the most is known as sound localization - the ability to know where a sound is coming from. If you are able to hear with both ears, sound comes in one ear, and also travels around your head and goes in the other ear fractions of a second later. Your brain is able to process that noise and determine where the sound is coming from. Since I only take in sound from one side, I have no clue if something is to my right, left, upstairs, downstairs or in the next room. It is very odd, and will take adjusting to.

I recently finished reading a book. In the final pages, one of the main characters is summing up her philosophy on living life. It goes like:

To simply try and be good and courageous and bold and to make a difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Go out there with your passion and your electric typewriter and work hard at ... something. Change lives through art maybe. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance.

Other than the electric typewriter, sounds pretty good to me! The book is One Day by David Nicholls. A good read, I very much enjoyed!

Yeah, But My Wife Rocks More!

I just read the latest blog entry, and wow, what an awesome wife I have! Ok, so it took me two days to finally read what she wrote, but hey, things have been a bit crazy lately. For those of you who are not aware, we announced last week that Wells Fargo Financial - the part of the company I work for, is shutting down, so I will be actively seeking other opportunities in the next few months, hopefully within Wells Fargo. What can I say, when it rains, it pours (hopefully cabernet)!

But let me get back to the issue at hand - Kathleen is the one who continues to amaze me. Each day is different, but she continues to face them with bravery, optimism, and a positive attitude. Lately she has experienced some headaches, and at other times, she is her normal self, laughing, joking with me, and smiling her "half smile" which we are hopeful will return to a full smile soon. The good days seem to be more frequent than the bad days. Her steroid perscription is tapering down, and we are told this will lead to more restful nights of sleep. We are also hoping the swelling and adema will subside so she can drop the pressure bandage. Other than that, not too much to report on the medical side. Now for the really brave part - Kathleen has agreed to let me post a couple pictures as long as no one makes pirate jokes, so here you go. . .

I couldn't resist posting one of the girls as well!

We continue to be blessed with well wishes, prayers, friends stopping by to say "hi", flowers, cookies, fruit bouquets, and a whole parade of dinners. The kindness and support from everyone has been wonderful! Thank You!!!! When this is all over, we are going to throw the biggest bash ever to hit Glen Oaks and you are all invited. We'll see how much damage we can do to the wine cellar in one weekend (I think the current record is about 32 bottles), toast to good health, and celebrate life. ---Mark

My Husband Rocks

At the end of May Mark and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. I recalled at the time how much I enjoyed being able to call him my husband once we were married. That feeling has seriously intensified in these last couple weeks. I am beyond proud, grateful, and incredibly lucky that Mark is my Husband. To say the time since I was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor has been filled with a bit of stress, pressure, and just a few things out of the ordinary might be a bit of an understatement.

From wading through treatment options, sharing the news, pretty much putting life on hold for a few weeks, he has done it all without question, and usually with a good dose of humor. His analytical approach to looking at things often kept my mind from wandering in millions of what if scenarios that would not have done any good! Then came the day of surgery and recovery in the hospital. As terrifying as it was for me, they were long days for Mark also. In the hospital, he was my advocate, and often voiced my concerns before I could. He made sure I ate, walked, brushed my teeth ... all things I didn't always want to do. At one point, he even changed the sheets on the bed when the nursing assistant wasn't being quick enough (seriously, an hour should have been enough time).

Once I was released from the hospital, convalescence care continued at home. Helping me shower, wash my hair, change the bandage on my head, he did it all without any complaint. When we had the stitches taken out, the doctor commented that he had done a better job wrapping my head than some of the interns!

Mark, I love you and am so very thankful for everything you do! I could not ask for a more caring and supportive partner through all of this.

And did I mention a major home remodeling project this weekend, too? We have often been frustrated with our deck - it is two levels, making each area just small enough to be limiting. So Red came up with a plan to raise the deck using jacks, and Saturday saw the execution of the plan! Mark and Red make a pretty good team! I feel like our deck is a giant dance floor, just waiting for a party under the stars!

A quick progress report on me... since getting the stitches out last Thursday, there has been a decent amount of fluid around the incision. To keep the swelling down, Mark has still been wrapping my head up in a pressure bandage. Let me tell you, this is really not the style I was hoping for! It was off during the day today, but "Dr. Mark" wrapped it back up tonight. The eye doctor continues to be happy with my eye and the protective measures in place. I had a good day today ... a bit of a stiff neck, but no headache to speak of, and a good amount of activity. I also didn't take much pain medication during the day... maybe a good sign.

The Stitches Are Gone!

We made the trip to Iowa City yesterday, and they took the stitches out. I'm thrilled more than anything to be able to wash my own hair, and not have my head wrapped up in a bandage. This morning I was able to dry my hair, and I look almost normal - if you can get past the eye that doesn't blink, and the lop-sided smile. At least I feel a little less like Frankenstein!